- We begin with a letter from all the kids to Watson and Elizabeth (Kristy’s mom) and Mr. and Mrs. Pike thanking them for the trip. This whole book is a collection of the memories and what not from the vacation. What sweet kids! You know this was Kristy getting on everyone’s last nerve to do this, because who else could get teenage boys to participate?
- We start with Kristy flipping out in the airport because she’s never been on a plane. She notes her mom is “struggling with suitcases and tote bags and plane tickets”. Help her then!
- So how did these twenty-one freaking people end up travelling together? Well Mr. Pike won a contest at his company. I bet that company regretted that decision when they found out he had eight freaking kids and THEN went on to invite two baby-sitters (Mary Anne and Stacey) to help out. Did he pay for them out of his own pocket? That only seems fair, right? Nevertheless, that company is never doing anything nice for their employees again. Enjoy your Jelly of the Month Club Christmas bonus everyone, because Pike here had to take twelve people to Disney World.
- But Kristy’s not a Pike or a lucky as hell baby-sitter, so how did she end up squealing at the airport? Well, her millionaire stepfather, Watson, found out she had basically never left the state of Connecticut, and he couldn’t have that embarrassment. So he got his whole family (his kids Karen and Andrew, plus Kristy, her mom and her bros Charlie, Sam and David Michael) on the the group tour PLUS he invited Dawn and Claudia to come along, because what’s a few thousand bucks more to a millionaire? That’s how the one percent vacations. Two friends for your thirteen year old step-daughter, none for anybody else.
- Watson bought her a new camera too?! You really have the life now, Kristy. Start asking for that pony.
- Two seconds into the flight and Margo Pike is using her barf bag. That kid gets motion sick on a bike, I swear.
- They actually get lunch on their flight from Connecticut to Florida. Ah, simpler times. I remember getting breakfasts on our flights from New York to Florida in the early 90’s. Now they throw packages of crackers at you as they race down the aisle.
- AND the kids get to see the cockpit! My daughter actually did get to check out the cockpit once, but it was before the flight started. They seal that shit up now.
- Kristy wants to hold club meetings on the trip. Where, on like, Space Mountain? And she also comes up with the concept of a thank you gift. Because Kristy.
- When the plane is landing, Margo throws up again. Stay off Small World, Margo.
- Dawn has been back and forth across the country eleven times, you guys. You better be impressed. She even managed to brag about all her travel in Kristy’s chapter.
- BUT SHE’S NEVER BEEN ON A CRUISE SHIP! Or seen one outside TV. It’s called the Ocean Princess, which sounds like something that probably existed once.
- Kristy, Dawn and Claudia are sharing a room on the cruise, and Kristy is already telling Dawn she hopes she doesn’t mind the mess she’ll make since Dawn likes things “spotless”. Dawn equates Kristy’s tendency to make a mess with her dislike of wearing dresses. Because those correlate.
- Claudia has a ton of luggage, of course. Because we need to make sure we have the perfect homemade belts and hair clips for every outfit. Plus there’s probably a bunch of chocolate in there. I wouldn’t only be worried about Kristy making a mess. You might lift up your pillow to find a chocolate bar, Dawn. The horror!
- Dawn immediately starts to pick up after Kristy in this tiny room. Not going to be any tension here!
- They go up on the deck to wave good-bye as the ship departs, because that’s basically required.
- Kristy and Dawn are already bickering about the state of their stateroom (haha!) and it’s only day one. Say your prayers, Claudia.
- Dawn goes exploring and runs into the “most absolutely gorgeous, handsome, perfect, wonderful boy” she’s ever seen. They gaze at the ocean together, and then he get shady and high tails it out of there when Dawn asks who he’s traveling with. Who cares if he’s a criminal or whatever, it’s clearly LUV!
Lauren likes to write, which is why she has this website. She also enjoys genealogy, video games, Broadway musicals, things of the 90's and singing. She lives in New York with her husband and daughter.
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