- It’s Karen’s turn, and as you would guess she’s very excited to go to Disney World. She and Andrew see Minnie Mouse right away and freak out, which is again, age appropriate. This was the age where you didn’t have to wait in line to see characters and you could just walk right up and swarm them with a mass of other kids while you’re dad shouts “Eeyore can’t sign!” while Eeyore is clearing signing. …Was that just my family?
- By the time they’ve reached the end of Main Street, Watson has bought them each a toy in the magic store (which no longer exists), an ice cream cone and a balloon. Damn. That’s how millionaires roll, I guess. Bet you wish you hadn’t gone off with your older brothers, David Michael!
- Karen wants to go on The Haunted Mansion. She comments that Snow White’s Adventures sounds “a little” scary. I had to do a double take here because I remember the ride being called Snow White’s Scary Adventures, which is a more fitting title for that ride. Before they redid it back in 1994, it scared the SHIT out of me. Ironically, they made the ride less scary after the refurb and then shoved scary in the name. Haunted Mansion didn’t faze five year old me one bit, but that ride? Far and away my most vivid memory on my first Disney trip is the Evil Queen staring at herself in a mirror, then suddenly whipping around as that wicked old hag she turns into. Traumatizing.
- They go on The Haunted Mansion and afterward Karen swears the hitchhiking ghost is with her the rest of the afternoon. Also, the sudden appearance of Snow White makes Andrew cry. God, what is your problem, Snow White? Stop scaring so many children.
- Time for another chapter of Dawn gushing over what’s-his-face the whole time.
- Her and Parker (aka what’s-his-face) are going to be spending the day together in the Magic Kingdom. I know her mom is back in Stoneybrook probably searching under her bed for butter knives, but his family is on this cruise. You’d think they’d want to have some family time together. Maybe he had a point about complaining about his step-brothers earlier. Maybe his dad just doesn’t give a crap about him anymore.
- Dawn borrows an entire outfit from Claudia: a white tank top, lavender overalls, lavender push down socks, lavender high tops, a beaded Indian belt and lavender bird shaped hair clips. That is too much lavender in one place. No wonder you have fifty suitcases, Claudia. Matching brightly colored socks AND shoes? You gotta learn to pack shoes that go with multiple outfits. Flying on any airline today you’d probably pay two hundred bucks in baggage fees just to haul your Doc Martens in five different colors around.
- Dawn questions Parker’s footwear for not looking comfortable. You’re wearing your friend’s shoes that you’ve never worn before – hell, that she’s probably barely worn before. She probably bought them specially to go with those hideous overalls you’re sporting. If anyone is headed for blister country, it’s you.
- “Everybody on the trip had a three day pass to Disney World and Epcot Center.” Disney World encompasses all the parks and resorts, Magic Kingdom is the name of the theme park! Who edited this?!
- Dawn isn’t that excited because SHE’S BEEN TO DISNEYLAND EVERYONE. Parker suggests they go on Space Mountain, but because Dawn has been on the Disneyland version NINE TIMES EVERYONE, she can’t even fake enthusiasm. Boy, who wouldn’t want to spend the day with her?
- But guess what? Turns out Space Mountain at Disneyland and Disney World are kinda different, and this one kinda makes her think she’s gonna die and/or throw up. Guess you’re not as experienced as you thought, Dawn. Especially since Space Mountain is kind of a tame roller coaster, aside from being mostly in the darkness. By the time they get off, Parker has to buy her a soda so she doesn’t puke all over him. Man, now that would have made this book great.
- Dawn drank soda and didn’t complain about how bad it was for you. I guess when it’s between that and barfing on the shoes of your crush, you just down the sugar death water.
- Although the Disneyland expert is not up for another ride, they go shopping. She only has $8.60 cents left to spend (yikes) and finds a $6 glass unicorn charm she buys and attaches to the antique bracelet she’s wearing. Yeah, her mom let her take a priceless family heirloom on a cruise vacation with her friends. I don’t even take my crap jewelry with me when I travel.
- After that they run into Parker’s family, who promptly dump the kids on them. Typical BSC parents, can’t manage a full day at the Happiest Place on Earth with their spawn. Roddy is eight, Ricky is five, and those names are both awful. The kids are sweet though, and clearly look up to Parker as a big brother.
- They ride Big Thunder Mountain (no nausea for Dawn this time) and then head to Tom Sawyer Island. All is dandy until Dawn realizes her bracelet is missing and starts to sob hysterically. Lesson learned, Dawn. Leave your important jewelry at home, especially when it doesn’t go with the outfit Claudia picked out for you. When they get back to the hotel, Parker magically has another unicorn charm for her. She cries again and he kisses her on the cheek. No mention of how mad mom’s going to be about that bracelet. In fairness, it’s lucky she managed to hold onto it this long. Probably no sign of those butter knives anywhere.
Lauren likes to write, which is why she has this website. She also enjoys genealogy, video games, Broadway musicals, things of the 90's and singing. She lives in New York with her husband and daughter.
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