- Trip is over. So you squandered your Disney time, Mallory. I’m not going to let that go, even in a Kristy chapter. Everyone is at the airport saying good-byes: Dawn and what’s his face, Claudia and her stalker, Stacey and Marc, Mary Anne and Alex for some reason. Kristy sees Mary Anne and Alex exchange addresses, but Kristy knows “Mary Anne would never write to her”. I get that she’s a stuck-up bitch, but why not? Think of the drama and crazy outfit descriptions she’s missing out on!
- Kristy says good-bye to Mr. Staples, who we hardly knew. He tells Kristy he has six grandsons, but if he had a granddaughter, he’d want one like her. Aw, looks like you got his heart to grow three sizes, Kristy.
- They exchange addresses and phone numbers (Mr. Staples lives in Arizona), which is sort of creepy, even if he’s a grandfatherly figure to her and part of the reason she wants his digits is to fix him up with her grandmother. Too bad Watson’s eyes have been too focused on the mini-bar to see his step-daughter’s budding relationship with this random old man.
- “You’re one in a million, kiddo,” he said gruffly. “Aw, come on. I bet you say that to all the girls”. Yup. Sort of creepy.
- They get onto the plane and Kristy is sitting behind the five boys, who she hopes “aren’t too noisy”. WELCOME TO MARY ANNE’S WORLD.
- Margo throws up (of course) and her brothers make fun of her. Of course the parents put a stop to – oh, I’m sorry. Did I say parents? I meant the thirteen year old baby-sitters.
- Karen asks if she can watch Margo be sick. I don’t know what the hell the career path is for that comment.
- After some time, Kristy decides the boys in front of her are too quiet. As she’s peering between the seats to see what they’re up to, some random Dutch guy who’s on this flight from Florida to Connecticut walks by and comments that their “treasure map” they’re looking at is the insides of a copier with the Dutch instructions. There ends that mystery no one really cares about.
- They get off the plane and there’s various parents and Nannie waiting for them. Kristy excitedly tells Nannie she has a boyfriend for her and that’s the end of the chapter.
- Yeah, so that means no one found Mallory’s stupid notebook?! No. That can’t be.
- Two months later, Vanessa finds Mallory’s notebook hidden behind a plant in the rec room and shit hits the fan.
- No, I wish, even though it’s a happy ending. Two months later Stacey gets a postcard from Marc’s parents saying his surgery went well and a year from now he should be a normal, active kid.
- So here you go, parents, a chronicle of the trip. Does it include details on Mallory’s spying notebook? Because if so, she’s an even worse spy than I thought. And somebody better get on finding that thing. Don’t let me down.
Lauren likes to write, which is why she has this website. She also enjoys genealogy, video games, Broadway musicals, things of the 90's and singing. She lives in New York with her husband and daughter.