BSC Super Special #1 – Baby-sitters on Board! (Ch. 7 & 8)

Chapter Seven

  • Oh Stacey, thank god. How did Karen and Mallory get chapters before you? I would sue.
  • They’re having a BSC meeting and talking about their day in Nassau. Mary Anne is concerned Mallory is hiding something, but Stacey, the sophisticated New Yorker, believes she’s “not a sneak”. Well her notebook would prove otherwise, Stacey! Man, I can’t wait until somebody finds that thing.

  • Stacey spent the whole day in the water with Vanessa and Margo and is exhausted. “I don’t know how mothers keep up with their kids…” she says. Um, they don’t. Why do you think you guys get so much business? They hired two of you to come on this freaking trip so they didn’t have to be bothered and could drink mimosas on the beach without constantly having to take one of their many kids to the bathroom.
  • After the meeting Stacey goes up to the deck to stare up at the sky. While there, she runs into the kid in the wheelchair Mallory had mentioned to her. Mallory is the world’s worst spy, apparently. Nothing in her secret notebook is going to be very secret at this rate.

  • Turns out the kid’s name is Marc and he’s seven. His parents stepped away to have coffee at the cafe because he begged them to let him be by himself for a bit. So he’s pretty much the opposite of the kids Stacey is used to, whose parents run out the door while vaguely waving to the emergency numbers by the phone.
  • Marc reveals he can walk, he just has a really bad heart problem, so he can’t do anything that strains it at all. Stacey uses this opportunity to tell him about her diabetes, which, while a serious disease, is not nearly the same. Not being able to eat a Snickers bar is not the same as not being able to take a step because it might kill you.
  • As she heads back to her room the ship starts to sway back and forth. Oh boy, I can see Margo puking in my future…
  • Sure enough, Stacey is in her cabin with Claire and Margo for all of two seconds when Margo starts to not feel good. Stacey gives her a wastebasket and then goes back to the parents’ room for some meds, but Mrs. Pike comes back with her and…get this…ACTUALLY TAKES CARE OF HER OWN CHILD AND TAKES HER BACK TO HER ROOM FOR THE NIGHT. Poor Margo had already puked twice, so I guess her mother felt she couldn’t be ignored. Stacey and Claire watch stuff fly around the room and go to bed.



  • Kristy wakes up the next morning and is already starting with Dawn by purposefully knocking Claudia’s shoes on the floor to piss her off. Is it worth it, Kristy? Does that really make you feel better? This is the first time you’ve left the state of Connecticut in your life. Priorities!
  • Worried that she’s gone too far with Dawn (you think?) she goes to the pool alone and starts to read a “sports” book. Sounds like a pretty vague book. I’m going to assume it’s about curling. That’s a sport.
  • A grumpy old man wearing “a blue Hawaiian-print shirt (kind of like the one Stacey has)” plops down next to her. Stacey, you own the same shirt as an old man?! You should be ashamed. And you call your style NYC sophisticated!

  • Kristy reads for awhile, then swims, but she can’t stop watching the old man, who she describes as being more sad than grouchy, but he does plenty of grouchy things, like bitch at a woman for being clumsy and grumble that people are laughing when he’s trying to read. I bet he wishes he had a lawn he could chase some kids off of.
  • Also, stop spying, Kristy. That’s supposed to be Mallory’s lame sub-plot.
  • The man drops his book, and as Kristy hands it back she tells him her Nannie has read the same book every year since she was fifteen. God, she must have it memorized by now. The man waxes that his Gertrude’s favorite book was Pride & Prejudice. We have a lonely widower on our hands, folks. I bet they were supposed to take this cruise together before her death. It was probably her dream. Brace yourselves.

  • Kristy then goes on to tell this stranger all about her family and even her feud with Dawn over the cleanliness of their cabin. Your rich step-father let you bring like fifty friends on this trip, yet you’re talking to a rando. At least she pauses to wonder why she’s confiding in this old man, but that doesn’t stop her at all. STRANGER DANGER, Kristy!
  • The old man is named Rudy Staples, and he’s not having much fun on the trip. His wife died of a heart attack two months ago and he decided to get away for a change of pace. Dammit! So much for my theory above.
  • Kristy then takes the old man to play video games and he shows her how to play shuffleboard. Ah, generations coming together. She then invites him to have dinner with her family and runs away before he can say yes or no. Because it’s Kristy, and she only hears what she wants to hear. No one tells the BSC club President no!
  • She returns to the cabin to find Dawn has spent the whole morning cleaning it. God, Dawn! I don’t know which one of you is worse! You’re on a free vacation! LET IT GO!

  • Kristy then bursts into her mom’s cabin without knocking (not a good idea, Kristy. That’s how you get scarred for life) and complains that she wants to move into their room and let Karen room with Claudia and Dawn, because she can’t take Dawn anymore. Elizabeth, who is writing a postcard, because no one in this book knows how to enjoy a vacation, basically tells her to suck it up.
  • Pissed off, Kristy cancels their BSC meeting for the day, but makes Claudia tells Dawn about it. Because that’ll show her! God, Kristy. Just throw your shit in the garbage can. Even Karen can do that.




Lauren likes to write, which is why she has this website. She also enjoys genealogy, video games, Broadway musicals, things of the 90's and singing. She lives in New York with her husband and daughter.
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