- Now Mallory’s brother Byron gets a chapter for some reason? I’d rather Alexandra Carmondy have a chapter. Although she’d probably spend it shopping for skimpy bikinis.
- The boys are obsessed with Treasure Island because they saw the movie yesterday and Bryon read the book. I think what he really read was this, because this was how kids read classic books back in the late 80’s/early 90’s:
- The triplets, along with Nicky (who’s 8) and David Michael (who’s 7) are now obsessed with pirates and are convinced they’re going to find treasure on Treasure Cay, the next island they’re going to. Granted, this place sounds like one of those cruise line owned islands with beaches and other highly controlled things to do, but the parents still let the ten year olds, as well as the two younger boys, explore on their own. Byron claims they had to do some “fast talking” to get permission, but I know Mr. Pike was too busy ordering a bucketful of Coronas to give a crap. Were parents really this lenient back then, or did I just have the wrong parents?
- The boys are disappointed the island is not an out of control jungle, and has hotels on it. So I take back what I said. This is not some cruise ship owned island. There are outsiders here. So how small can this island really be? Judging you, Pikes (and Mrs. Thomas). Judging!
- The boys are swimming on the beach unsupervised! Come on! This is terrible parenting. You don’t know what the tides are like there. Oceans can be dangerous! Dangerous I tell you! God, I’m such a mom now. I’m starting to scare myself.
- Nicky keeps making David Michael throw shells back because they are pink. Someone’s raising that kid right.
- Byron finds a yellowed piece of paper that he thinks is a treasure map. They show it to a random fisherman and Dawn (who is walking with some boy), but neither of them give a crap. The boys vow to look everywhere, even Disney World, using this rando piece of paper with words on it that mean nothing to them as their guide. Ah, to be a kid again. Then they miraculously make it back to the ship in one piece and on time. You’ve escaped having the cops knock on your door this time, parents.
- It’s their last day on the ship, but Dawn isn’t going to let Claudia and Kristy’s bickering or the mess bother her. Why? Because she’s in LUV of course! Yesterday she, Kristy and Claudia went to go snorkeling (apparently she and Kristy could put aside their problems all of the sudden?) and dream boat guy was there too. SQUEE!
- Her and Dream Boat Guy ditch snorkeling to take a walk together. Again, this is how Dateline episodes begin. At this point she does not even know this kid’s name or how old he is, she’s only smiled at him on the boat a bunch of times.
- Turns out his name is Parker Harris, which Dawn kind of laughs at, because Parker is a last name in the late 80’s, not a first name! Oh Dawn, if you only knew the crazy name trends you’d live to see…
- Immediately after telling her his name he wants to hold hands. See, to me that’s way weirder than the name.
- Dawn is meeting Parker today at 10:30 and he wants to enter a ping pong tournament. “Only old people and little kids play that!” Dawn exclaims. Pretty sure that’s not true, Dawn. Especially when your “boyfriend” turns out to be so good you two win the tournament. (Even beating Kristy and her “old man friend”, who Dawn teases her about, even though she knows it’s mean. Because it’s Dawn.)
- Oh, their prize is huge tin loving cup. Have fun getting that on the plane. No wonder Parker said you could keep it, even though he was the reason you won.
- Parker starts bitching about his family. His dad is remarried and there are now two younger stepbrothers in the picture who he calls “brats” despite not knowing them at all. When Dawn calls him out on this, he maintains all kids are brats. Yeah, this relationship’s gonna work out.
- They finish off their day with video games, a movie and taking silly pictures in a photo booth. Dawn decides that this is true love, despite the fact that she was thinking he was selfish just a page ago. He’s hot, who cares if his personality is shit, right?
Lauren likes to write, which is why she has this website. She also enjoys genealogy, video games, Broadway musicals, things of the 90's and singing. She lives in New York with her husband and daughter.